1. The Endless Ladder ~ ill be honest when i first found this machine i thought it was ...AWESOME! nothing better than looking back in time to find some of the greatest bungles ever. well, grandpas climbing machine i dont know why you were invented... or who in their right mind would ever use you but, thanks for being number one on my list of machines that will never be as cool as the treadwall.
2. Jacobs Ladder ~ umm, is this the modern fat person wussy version of grandpa's endless ladder. ...loser, youre out!
3. The Exer-Climber ~ and various other names this climbing machine wannabe has gone by. pros it almost has the motion right. but it never develops any grip strength. lame!
4. the Freedom Climber ~ wow this one sucks, yeah i guess you work on grip strength and movement but... it bitty climbing surface and the wall TURNS? the holds rotate in your hand, that will mess up your skin. how this thing has survived on the market is a testament to people who love to jump on band wagons!
5. The Auto-Belayer ~ alright i got creative adding this to the list but honestly it fits the profile, a machine that allows the user to train for climbing. this thing would be awesome except for a few things. first you still need a climbing wall to be useful, boo. it's not made to really be adjust to your degree of fatness and has resulted in dangerously fast lowers. finally ...it's the only on on the list that has actually killed someone! that right! cable gets tired, snap, dead! hence, hate it.
6. The ROCK ~ getting closer but ...ugly noisy metal slats! oh and a price tag of around $12,000. that's way to expensive when you consider it will be about as fun as hearing someone kick the side of a metal building throughout you entire workout.
7. SkyWall ~ im pretty sure this was the product of reverse engineer and cheep knock-off-ery. yeah i said it. but seriously it's motorized which says to me there is now more to go wrong! plus it's only four feet wide. how do you develop any technique at all? ill be the first to admit that it would be nice to have more than a 6ft wide machine ...but 4ft, sorry man the girls dont lie size matters!
8. climbSTATION ~ this is the super fancy guy, so they say. but i got some beefs! first the conveyor belt rubber mat looking thing makes me wonder how i fix it when it breaks or wears out. yeah it's cool that it will change angle as you climb, but again that means more to break. plus it's motorized. now we have all seen those machines sitting gathering dust a gym because its broke, there's no one qualified to fix it, it would cost too much anyway, and now it also costs too much to throw AWAY!
but nice try.
9. Random/Generic machine ~ okay you look like a treadwall, you act like one, but honestly i dont trust you. i dont know where you come from or who built you. did they do a good job? are your welds sound? are your part made by a quality machinist (kelly...he's a dude, and the machinist of the vulgarian crew knows what im saying!), this thing is more like frankenstein than anything else. someone told me they had a treadwall once. when i showed up to give it a test drive i found something very similar! boo,you may look like it ...but no, i say good day sir!
10. the Hydraulic Scaler ~ okay...i like it! i like where your heads at... but